o digba (Goodbye) — Sometimes we linger a little too long, overstay our welcome. We become the houseguest that refuses to leave — despite the numerous hints. Sometimes we stay too long. Whether it’s a relationship, job, friendship, situationship or something else, we stay too long because of the familiarity. It is comforting. It is routine. It is what we have always done, and we keep doing it, despite the harm that we cause ourselves and the others on the receiving end. This really rang true years ago when I was listening to a T.D. Jakes sermon. I don’t remember the title, but I remember the sentiment, sometimes it is time to go. Time to say goodbye. Everyone and every situation does not deserve your presence. Sometimes we need to pause and analyze the situations we are in, the ones we have second guessed and third and maybe a fourth chance was given freely, without good reason. We form habits of the familiar and miss opportunities because we don’t know when to say goodbye. I don’t mean say goodbye on a whim, let something go just because. I mean evaluate, pray and act. Sometimes you may want to leave somewhere or someone just because there is a feeling. Feelings are fleeting. You can’t dismiss anything prematurely. The timing has to be right. But when you get affirmation, do not tarry, move on. You have to leave before you lose yourself and other opportunities. You can’t keep going back to whatever just because it’s familiar. I remember when I first moved out of state. It was such a lonely time. I kept finding reasons to drive back to Louisiana for as many weekends as possible. I really didn’t know how they were surviving without me. I had to go check on everyone. I didn’t want to miss anything. Every time I returned; everyone was fine. No one was weeping over my move. People were living their lives. My friends were fine. My family was fine. They had continued to live, and I was stuck in the past. My trips became less frequent, and I began to build a life here with new friends and new experiences. On the other hand, I remember that I once left a situation prematurely. My emotions led the way. I took no time at all to really weigh my options. I quickly formulated an exit plan and moved away. That was decades ago, and I still regret that situation. I wonder what my life would have been like if I just waited a little while. I wish I knew back then to pray and wait. But I didn’t. I have lived and learned a few things since then. I have learned to reevaluate friendships, who could I count on? Who could count on me? I realized that I was checking on some people frequently, but they never found the time to check on me. They never seemed available or concerned with how I was doing. I had to wave goodbye to some of those people. I was holding on just because. Time will help validate your choices. I learned that some friends were not quite friends at all. My connections with some were counterproductive to what I was I was trying to achieve. Hanging on was not helping my future. My circle may be small, but it is comforting. We can count on each other. We can trust each other. None of us are perfect, but we hold the same core beliefs, we support each other and push each other. I always remember something that Big Momma used to say as she was lamenting about the actions of one of us young and unwise children, “You always adding when you should be subtracting!” Who and what is in your space? There are some things to hold on to and there are some that simply have to go.