A cliche is really just an overused quote. Something so many people say something so many times that the perhaps profound quote has lost its luster. Some of our cliches are still insightful. Perhaps some are not. One that people love to say is “When you know better, you do better.” That one really makes me chuckle. Really? I know I should have less carbs. I have done the research. I have felt the sluggishness after overindulgence. I know better for sure. But then I envision a piece of perfectly buttered, seasoned garlic bread and then the aroma of it takes over the rational part of my brain and I take a bite of crispy perfection. Again and again. I know better and sometimes I’m doing slightly better. That quote is just something we say in hopes that people will do the right thing. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. We can provide advice, tips and anecdotes. We can share our experiences and hope that those we talk to listen and learn from our mistakes. But they may not. They may not want to do better. It may take time to do better. It’s really up to them. It’s hard to have a front seat to chaos or complacency and be unable to help. I had to learn that it’s really out of the helper’s hand. The person that needs help has to come to that conclusion on their own. We can try to help, but it truly is up to the individual. Will their choices impact us? Perhaps. But I have a feeling that that is the last thing on a person’s mind when they are in an internal battle. They won’t necessarily do better when they know better, but we have to hope that one day something clicks. The hard part is when it never does. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we would like, but we have to practice focusing on what we can control — our reactions, our mindset, our choices. I wish I could wave a wand and everyone I love would make the best choice for them, but that’s not how life works. And trust me, no one wants me waving a wand. There would be giraffes and journals everywhere. We would all write and eat that garlic bread all day. Thankfully there is free will. Everyone gets to make their own choices.

The other cliche that we all love to say is that “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” Now this one I love because I think it’s so true. We pretend that we don’t compare ourselves to others, but we do. I know women love to because I hear the conversations. “I wish I had that dress. I wish I was that skinny. How did she get that man? Must be nice not having to work.” All the comparisons do us no good. We begin to try to gain what others have even if we really don’t want it. We just try to see if we can do exactly what they did or have precisely what they have. I witnessed a friend rant and rave over someone’s new car. Her car was perfectly fine. She was almost done with the payments, but she seemed mesmerized by this other lady’s new vehicle. After a while, she couldn’t take it anymore. She purchased the exact same vehicle, same color, same year. I couldn’t believe it. She was close to being car payment free, but she desperately wanted what someone else had. I asked her if she liked it, she nodded yes. I truly didn’t see any joy on her face. Trying to acquire something someone has for the wrong reasons often leads to regrets and sometimes bills that we can’t afford. I don’t know why I have always believed that what is for is for me. I don’t want anyone else’s life or possessions. It’s quite a task trying to live my own. Ofcourse, I wonder sometimes how person A got so lucky or how person B seems to have the best life. Thankfully, those are temporary thoughts. The truth is that I have no idea what person A or B went through or is currently going through. Their grass could appear greener, but it could be AstroTurf. Their grass could be greener because of the time they invested in it or the skill that they have as a gardner. You never know. It’s best to focus on the evolving you. Work on creating the life you want. Even the journey toward that is more fulfilling than coveting what someone else has. The world doesn’t need a replica. The world needs the best you.